Happy Easter!

We've been getting ready for Easter around here for a few weeks now, kicking it off with a visit with the Easter Bunny.  Lucy was super excited about it and when we got there the Bunny was occupied with other kids, which Lucy didn't like.  She started screaming "Easter Bunny!  Hi!" Then grabbed my hand to lead me to him which I thought would last until we were right up to him, but the only time she got even slightly hesitant was when I set her on his lap.  Otherwise she thought it was great and kept turning around to look at his ears. 

Today we colored Easter eggs with Nanny.  Lucy thought it was super fun.  She loved dropping the eggs into the colors, but she thought they were "swimming" so she didn't want to leave them in there to color, she wanted to just dunk them around and stick her fingers in the "water".  It was kind of an ordeal to say the least.  She kept my Mom busy rotating the colors and eggs while I took pictures and video.  Then toward the end Lucy got all crazy and threw the egg into the blue dye which spilled all over herself and the carpet.  While I was trying to clean up the blue my Mom turned her back for a second and Lucy grabbed the orange and dumped it all over herself, the carpet, the cushion she was sitting on, oh dear.  I ended up on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor (which came clean, surprisingly) while my Mom tended to the table cleanup, and Lucy just started yelling "amazing! amazing!"  Hilarious.  So we let her finish up the last few eggs we had while she talked to my Mom about the "trouble" and how it was "amazing".  My Mom was happy to usher us out to the pool when we were done!  She said maybe next year will be more fun, but really, Lucy had a ball and that's what it was all about!

Nanny and Lucy's hands after the Easter egg coloring fun!

And after the Easter Bunny left!  Easter has always been big with my family aside from the true meaning of the holiday, we have always had fun with the commercial side as well.  Since we are not currently active in a church to celebrate the most important holiday of the year, we have to celebrate with eachother by reading the scriptures and sharing the story of Easter with Lucy through her children's Easter book and explaining the upcoming holiday  each day with her.  Hopefully by next year we will be engaged in a church and can celebrate with our church family as well.  

Matthew 28:1-10 (New International Version, ©2011)

Matthew 28

Jesus Has Risen

 ¹ After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.  ² There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. ³ His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. ⁴ The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.
 ⁵ The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. ⁶ He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. ⁷ Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”
 ⁸ So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. ⁹ Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. ¹⁰ Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.”

a little happy post smack in the middle of crazy

Ya'll probably know how crazy life is for my family right now.  As we sit here Phil is in the hospital because the crushed toe led to an infection and his leg is the size of a baby elephant right now. It looks really bad and is pretty scary.  They have him on a thousand antibiotics and he'll be there for at least the next two to three days. 

Obviously spending time there is difficult with Lucy, so I can only go for short periods of time and then I have to leave which makes me feel bad since he's left to fend for himself, though I know he understands.  Plus, trying to get all the necessary gear organized and hanging over me and the stroller for the huge trek from the garage to his room is such an ordeal.  And then the nighttime when Lucy keeps asking where Daddy is=so sad.  It's just super stressful all the way around.

SO, I needed to have a little happy in my life and decided to look through my camera roll. 

Last month we made a trip to Tennessee.  I love it up there and the sun was just setting as we were getting to town.

While we were there Lucy got to play at the Hamilton Place play area, which she loves.  You can pretty much guarantee that no matter the city, we will always be scouting a mall play area for her to play in.  Kinda funny since before I had a child and even for a while after I had her I was so against these germ filled play areas. 

It's been really warm lately so I broke out the plastic play pool one afternoon and painstakingly filled it with warm bath water while Lucy napped so that when she woke up she would have a fun activity and get a little fresh air and sun too.  You should have seen me carrying huge buckets filled with water from the bathroom to the back yard.  I was totally fearful it would burst all over my living room!  Anyway, the next day I got the pool out early and set up the umbrella because it was particularly hot with no clouds and I wanted her to play without me having to worry about her getting burnt!  Plus I had to lay a blanket down in the yard to guard from the dog "germs" and dirt and Momma had to have a sun mat to sit comfortably on too!  When we went outside Lucy said "Lucy's beach!" and had a great time playing and enjoying a popsicle.  It was a perfect day and so much fun for both of us, which I absolutely needed.  If only I had her imagination that the tiny back yard became a beach with just the addition of an umbrella, pool, and beach blanket!

And the other day while I was cleaning out old toys making room for new her Little People dollhouse was not making the cut and slated for the "to-go" list when she all of a sudden grabbed it and it has been her favorite toy ever since. 

I could probably get rid of everything else at this point because she has so much fun playing with it.  She carries her little dolls around and puts them in the door and talks to them.  It's the cutest thing I've ever seen, other than the popsicle enjoyment, and while I watched her playing I realized she is SO BIG!  When did my baby get to be big enough to play with a doll house??  Pretty sure I just brought her home from the hospital last week.  I think my friend was totally right when she said "the days are long, but the years are short".

She always makes me happy, regardless of the crazy all around me.  Thank God for my Lucy!



I'll be your caregiver this evening, you can call me "Tired"

So it's been forever and two days since I have updated anything but sometimes I just have so much in front of me, I can't seem to keep up. 

School is going fabulously.  I am really enjoying it and while I wish I was done already, only in my 3rd week, I am learning alot and find it interesting.  Plus, I love the format online which is really working for me.  Very time consuming, but I'm working it in and just seem to have less free time, but I never really had any anyway so no big deal.

Phil finally got back to work after his biceps repair via worker's comp. and then on Thursday crushed his big toe while at work.  Like the skin tissue is so badly damaged they predict he will lose it and they had to drill 3 holes in his toenail to relieve some of the pressure from the swelling to prevent compartment syndrome and the eventual amputation of his toe.  Seriously.  Who has a broken toe so badly crushed they tell you at the emergency clinic that you could need your toe amputated?  Phil, that's who.

Then there's my house which is so cluttered because apparently the "free time" I previously referred to was actually my cleaning time.  It's fairly overwhelming and I'm about 2 seconds away from breaking down and hiring a cleaning person to give me a little help around here.

I chose a profession in which my entire day at work is dedicated to caring for people.  Be it my patients, the doctor, management, or families my entire being is forced to give my all while I'm at work because that's what my patients deserve and what I believe will come back to me should my family ever be in a hospital setting.  It's exhausting. 

I come home to a perfect little being whom I adore and whom also requires all of my time and attention.  A little person who really doesn't nap and stays up at night with me until I have to just leave her in her room sometimes while she is awake and unhappy.  I am done with the day and just need a little break, which makes me feel like I'm not giving her my best, though I know that's not true.  I don't think we ever feel like "enough" for our babies.  It's exhausting.

At any given moment I have 259 various things in my head that I need to tend to, address, rectify, or otherwise devote just a few moments.  I have become so good at prioritizing it's obscene because I just simply can't do everything and certainly can't be everything to everyone.  But I have a husband that deserves at least the best his wife can give him and I know I don't rise to the occasion sometimes.  It's exhausting.

I used to play that silly game on my phone where you create this island resort and clean up after your guests and appease them when they are dissatisfied.  I thought it was super fun.  Then I found myself getting mad at the imaginary people on my imaginary island because they threw their imaginary trash all over and then had the balls to be dissatisfied with their accommodations to where I had to make them happy by buying them drinks.  WTF?  I was MAD at IMAGINARY guests on my island.  And that's when I deleted the game because I care for enough people and things in reality that you won't find me farming or building resorts or caring for virtual barnyard animals or zoo critters. 

Sometimes 24 hours in a day isn't enough and I need to be 3 people just to get it all done.  I'm learning what is important and what to let go.  Keyword learning.  But it's super hard and sometimes all I need is 2 hours to myself to just have silence.  I know my friends get it.  And I know some of you are struggling just like me to be everything to everyone and to feel like you are the best mom and wife ever.  So, to all of you, I want to say you are doing a great job, keep it up.  Because sometimes all we need is a little support, encouragement, and the knowledge that you aren't alone in the life struggles!